Paul

This is really hard for me to write and I'm not sure I will be able to get through this, but here I go.

I have a cousin who is only 3 months younger than me. We were very, very close as kids. His mom used to watch me when I was really young. I just loved hanging around Paul. I always looked up to him ... he out grew me pretty fast. ;) He was just amazing.

We always had so much fun together. He would always play what I wanted to play. That is just who he is. A giver with a big heart. I mean, look at this picture. Here we are in my back yard, he's holding on to me, and I am holding his underwear. I have no idea what we were doing, but this was just so us. We were crazy.

On March 13th I received a call early in the morning from my mom. I knew something was wrong from the sound of her voice. And I knew it was something very wrong when she said, "I don't want to be the one to have to tell you this." My loving, big hearted cousin had passed away. It brought me back to the same phone call I got from my mom 4 years and 7 days ago telling me my niece had passed away. I never want a phone call like those again. Ever.

It has been a rough month and a half for me. My heart hurts. There are no words to describe what I am feeling.

I can tell you this, though. I am so thankful for the plan of salvation. I'm grateful for eternal families. I'm so grateful for our Heavenly Father. I am so, so thankful for His son Jesus Christ and the sacrifice He made for us.

I know with all my heart that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us. He loves us and cares for us. I know Paul is in a better place now. And I'm so glad he is with our sweet Kaleya now. Who better to care, protect, and love Kaleya than Paul? He's the perfect man for the job.

Paul is undeniably amazing. He is so loving, so caring, so genuine. I have never met another person like him. He always put others before himself. He is a great friend and so trustworthy. I look forward to the day when I get to hug him again.

Now I just have to make sure I live my life right so I can be with him and Kaleya again. There is nothing more motivating than your loved ones waiting on the other side for you.

I love you, Paul. More than you will ever know.